When Fall Fades (The Girl Next Door Series Book 1) Read online

  “Not much to tell.”

  “Nope, you’re not getting off that easy. Spill it, Hayes.”

  He looked so physically uncomfortable she had to bite her lip to rebuke an adoring grin.

  “Quick. Like a Band-Aid.”

  “Fine,” he growled. “We, uh … we moved around a lot. I never had time to put roots down anywhere.”

  “What about your parents?”

  His heavy sigh sounded pained. “All right, here’s the case-file version. My mom, she’s not so bad. Typical southern belle, former Miss Texas—a big score for my dad who was a college dropout after a career-ending football injury. My whole life, all I ever saw was this restless, bitter man, desperate to relive his glory days. He tried to fill the void of his failed dream with marriage, a family, odd jobs, alcohol, other women … He was never satisfied. Just kept trying to find the next best thing. And never shy about letting us know we weren’t it.”

  Shaking his head, he looked away, staring off at some distant distraction. “He wasn’t around. He’d just dump us in a new town, and then we wouldn’t see him for a while. Except for when I’d get a call from the ER to come pick him up after a bar fight or the police station after they’d detained him for drunk and disorderly. All the while my mom was home with my baby sister, training her up to be the next beauty queen, sending me to do all the dirty work. She was too weak to leave him.”

  “That must have been hard.” The bitterness in his voice was heartbreaking. He tried to shrug it off, but the hurt in his eyes spoke volumes about what he didn’t say.

  The longer they sat there talking the more comfortable she felt just being with him. This was not how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to crash and burn. He’d ripped off the Band-Aid she’d hoped would send her running. Instead, more than anything, she wanted to stay and kiss it all better.

  So not good.

  She tempered her foolish reaction with a sobering dose of reality. Even if she was interested, a little, Archer had a highly dangerous job. It was her one unbending rule—no military, law enforcement, or firefighters—and that meant he was off limits.

  What was she thinking? Of course he was off limits. She knew almost nothing about him.

  Plus, she was fairly certain there was some rule about fraternization during an investigation. And Archer struck her as a man who lived strictly between the lines. There were simply too many obstacles on both sides. It would never work out. Relationships were hard enough without starting against the grain.

  She’d convinced herself until their eyes met, and then a seed of doubt crept in. He was uncommonly gorgeous for a man. And kind. With a deep sense of honor he wielded like a shield. And the way he looked at her … She blinked hard, forcing a cease-fire on her thoughts. Before her bleeding heart could start gushing romantic fancy she quick-stitched the open wound. Case closed. Now get out with your heart intact.

  “Do you want me to make some coffee? It’s about the only thing I have in my kitchen.” He grinned a little boyish grin that made her think of Ryan. Her heart pinched.

  “Nah, that’s okay. I should probably get going. I did want to ask you if anything turned up on the mystery intruder.”

  “The one you tackled to the ground?” A lazy smile tilted his lips. If he smiled like that one more time she’d have to run for the exit.

  She scoffed, “Self-defense!”

  “I know you can take care of yourself, I’ve witnessed it firsthand.” He touched his hard stomach in exaggerated pain, reminding her of her well-placed kick, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

  “No. So far, no fibers or trace evidence left behind, and nothing new missing. We do have a few more leads, and we’re still waiting for some follow-ups on Charlie’s past and new info from the coroner. I’m going to talk to the family tomorrow. Something will turn up.”

  “I’m sure it will.” Sadie glanced at the time. Past midnight. “Wow, sorry I didn’t realize it was so late. I should go and let you get some rest.”

  Unhurried, he stretched his arm across the back of the couch between them, his fingertips lightly brushing her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you decided to come over.”

  Once she met his eyes, she couldn’t look away. In fact, if their suddenly closer proximity were taken into account, she would have to assume she was leaning in.

  As if riding to her rescue the blaring signal of the dryer sounded.

  Sadie jumped up off the couch with a start, very possibly mumbled something about getting her dress, and disappeared into the laundry room.

  “You should just wear my clothes home.” He called after her. “I think it’s still drizzling. I’ll get you a bag for your dress.”

  “Thanks,” was all she could think to say.

  “Let’s get you home.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to walk me out, I can find my way.” She’d bet the farm her cheeks were as blazing red as ripe tomatoes. So she kept her head down and dug around her purse for her keys.

  “I’ll follow you home, make sure you get in okay.” He snatched a Cardinals hat from a peg by the door and pulled it low over his eyes.

  “You don’t have to do that. You’re already home and it’s la—”

  Archer touched her arm, and her ramblings died on her lips. “Sadie, I’m not gonna sleep if I don’t see you home safe. It’s dark, and there’s a murderer out there—one who might not be too thrilled with you since you bested him. Now, I know you can handle yourself, but in this case, I’m not taking no for an answer. Let’s go.” Physically turning her toward the door, he gave her a gentle nudge.

  Sighing, she rolled her eyes as she marched stubbornly and ridiculously out of his apartment wearing his baggy sweatpants and her high heels.

  Silence marked the elevator ride to the garage and their stroll to their cars. The clicking of Sadie’s heels against the pavement the only sound echoing against the concrete walls of the parking structure … that and her heartbeat’s assault on her eardrums.

  Archer stopped behind Sadie’s car. Hesitating, she swallowed some courage and then turned to face him. “Thanks for tonight. It really perked me up after the service today.”

  His gaze was intense. Unyielding. Like nothing could have persuaded him to look away. What might have been unnerving was instead riddled with a breathtaking subtext she couldn’t fathom and yet innately understood.

  “I had a really nice time.”

  “Me too.” She replied softly, then forced herself to back away, removing any and all of the temptations flitting through her brain. Except all she accomplished was one measly step which meant she was still within touching distance. “Good night, Archer Hayes.”

  He stayed where he was. His fists clenched, biceps bunching, and those eyes communicating something that felt forbidden, dangerous, and impossibly intimate in spite of their lack of touch.

  “Good night, Sadie.”

  After locking up, she leaned against the back of the door, reliving the moments of the evening with an unhealthy amount of schoolgirl swooning.

  She wondered how big of a fool she’d made of herself at Archer’s place. Wondered, with no small amount of mortification, if he’d gotten an eyeful of fleshy backside when his roomy sweatpants slipped off her hips while she’d fiddled with the lock directly under her very new, very bright front porch light.

  She groaned. Well done, Sadie.

  Was the guy a total operator or was there something going on between them? Maybe she’d been out of touch so long she was mistaking the poor guy’s charity for something else. She hated that she overanalyzed everything. A chronic ailment with no effective treatments. So the tortured thoughts got to ride the merry-go-round in her brain for a solid twenty minutes of insanity until she put them to rest for good. She hoped.

  To keep distracted
she thought of how nice the service for Charlie had turned out. How his friends had thanked her for allowing them to say good-bye with such a beautiful tribute. She wondered again when his body would be released for an actual burial—murder tossing the norms for a funeral right out the window.

  Inevitably, her mind went to the last funeral she’d attended, aside from any of her patients. The familiar heaviness crushed the last of the night’s giddiness that had bubbled up in her heart as she dragged herself to bed.

  “Hello?” Sadie clamped the phone between her ear and her shoulder, cranking the steering wheel to whip her Jeep out of Wash U’s parking lot after her night class.

  There was an extended silence from the caller. Suppressing the urge to hum to Otis Redding’s “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay,” Sadie felt the jivey tune scrub away the depressing residue of the past three tedious hours in Dr. Brimstead’s lecture of “Infectious Diseases.” “Anyone there?”

  “... Sadie, it’s Mary Ann.”

  “Oh hey, Mrs. Burke.” Sadie pulled the phone from her ear, double checking and not recognizing the number. “What’s up?”

  “We’re at St. John’s in the ER. Can you come up here?” Ryan’s mom muffled a sob.

  Otis’s classic was drowned out by the heavy thud of her heart in her ears. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Ramming her foot against the gas pedal, she floored it, making it in only six. Swerving haphazardly into an ER parking spot, she flung herself from her vehicle and sprinted through the automatic doors.

  Her chest heaved, unable to draw in a single sufficient breath as she scavenged the waiting areas until finally spotting Ryan’s mom down the hall. Sadie sprinted toward her, nearly knocking Mrs. Burke over with her embrace.

  Mary Ann’s waif body started to spasm, her arms were limp around Sadie’s back. “What happened?” Sadie’s words muffled against matted hair.

  Between hiccups and moans Mrs. Burke spoke while ushering Sadie into a room. “There was an accident. Ryan and his dad were headed home from the ball game.”

  Mary Ann moved the curtain revealing Ryan, sobbing and hunched over the blood-soaked body of his dad. A large abrasion oozed on Ryan’s forehead, dried blood and tears streaking his face.

  Then she was beside him, her arms thrown over his shoulders. Her firm hold doing nothing to soothe his violent shaking as he clung to Mr. Burke’s stagnant chest.

  When he finally pulled away from his dad, he buried his face against Sadie’s stomach. She placed her trembling hands on his head, tenderly stroking his hair as endless tears flowed down her neck.

  Sadie sat and cried with them for over an hour before any of them spoke. Then Ryan’s face lifted, almost unrecognizable from the trauma and swelling. His bloodshot eyes haunted by what he must have seen.

  “I know what I’m gonna do now.” He stared at the empty space his dad had occupied an hour ago, riveted by nothing but the gleam of the florescent light reflecting from the floor.

  Ryan’s mom and Sadie exchanged a look, bereft of cognition.

  “It’s been two years since college graduation, and I’ve been praying about what I’m supposed to do.” Other than the breath that expanded his lean chest he was perfectly still. “I’m gonna join the army for a few years, like dad did when he was young. Except I’m gonna be a medic.”

  The resolve on Ryan’s face scared her. Before Sadie could voice her concern, Mary Ann spoke to her son.

  “Ryan, sweetie, that’s very noble, but maybe you should think some more about it. Right now is probably not the best time to be making these kinds of life-changing decisions.”

  “Why not? This is life-changing.” He gestured to the vacant space, fresh tears magnified the pain and desperation in his cobalt eyes.

  “Ry, I think your mom just means—”

  “I know this is what I’m supposed to do. And I think I can just sign up for two years of active duty.” His sympathetic gaze seemed to pity the two most important women in his life. “I know this is a shock, but I want to make dad proud. And I really think this will help give me direction for my life. Who knows, maybe I’ll go to medical school when I get back. Be a doctor like Sadie.”

  Frantic fear clawed through her. She reached out to touch his arm, plead with him to stay. But he stood before she could grab on and strode out of the room. She knew Ryan better than anybody. And that’s why she knew there was no changing his mind.

  Heinous beeping cut off the last excruciating moments of the memory. Never had she felt so grateful to wake up. But the resurrected ghosts of the past lingered in the air like dead fish, stomach-curdling and inescapable, and begging questions she still couldn’t find the answers to—like why she’d been dreaming about Ryan so much lately? She kept feeling like it meant something. If it didn’t, her inner psyche, or wherever it was dreams sprouted from, had a sadistic streak she didn’t care for.

  Sadie rolled out of bed and lifted the blackout shade. It was still raining, the gray day mirroring her motivational state. A yawn persuaded her back to bed. No running today. The allure of an extra hour of sleep before work was too tempting to deny.

  If only she could dream of something sweeter.

  She crossed her arms over her eyes and breathed deep from the fabric of the large T-shirt, inhaling the tantalizing and oh-so-manly scent of a certain FBI agent.

  Mmm. That’ll work just fine.

  Chapter 16

  Archer Hayes

  How had he let this happen?

  Long sleepless hours had brought him to a nightmarish conclusion despite the lack of an actual nightmare. Sadie was under his skin. At this point of realization, a nightmare was exactly what he was experiencing.

  When she’d emerged dressed in his clothes last night it stirred up something in him he hadn’t known existed—a longing to have someone to come home to. To belong to.

  Why was this happening? Just when all of his ducks were lining up with his promotion, his caseload, his partnership with Sal not scaring the daylights out of him, some beautiful and impossible girl had to come barging into the mix. Destroying his carefully constructed life with her wit, compassion, and unparalleled beauty.

  What was worse was that he felt so moronically happy when she was near, and the irony wasn’t lost on him that most of that time she’d been berating him with her spitfire tongue or kicking him to the curb—literally.

  You’re really losing it.

  The denial stage was easier to deal with. But this …

  Pulling himself up in bed, he rested his stubborn head in his hands. The only way he knew how to do his job was to avoid distractions. It wouldn’t be safe to operate with his focus at half-staff. Relationships allowed too much wiggle room for error. Like with Jimmy. Had Archer not been running his mouth off, yucking it up like they were best pals, he wouldn’t have lost focus and let the kid wander out into the open.

  And Jimmy wouldn’t have died.

  What if something happened to Sadie because of him? It was already hard enough living with the pile of skeletons in his closet without adding any more. The consequences of relationships in his line of work were too grave to ignore.

  But if he couldn’t lie to himself about his escalating attraction for her anymore, what was he supposed to do with it? Was there some easy fix to make it go away?

  An unsettling notion screamed in his ear. The ominous feeling like a dropped anchor in his chest. It wasn’t just attraction. It was something beyond that.

  Something much more dangerous.

  What happened to “Never again?”

  Suddenly the lure of a distraction was exactly what he needed. Archer got up and made a pot of coffee. After his total lack of sleep he needed a little extra kick in the pants. He shook his head and grumbled, “Guess that’s one way to not oversleep for work.”

  Takin
g a cup of the no-frills brew to the couch, he watched the morning news for the first time in ages. Maybe not all distractions were dangerous. Something about the latest update on huge corporate layoffs and the tailspin of the economy droned on as he took the last few minutes of his morning to regroup before heading in to work.

  Work, perfect. He still had some leads to investigate for Charlie, plus he was meeting with the members of the Westwick family throughout the day. Finally, he was honing in, itemizing his plan of attack on the dragging case, and thankfully shelving a certain female distraction.

  Until something tugged him back to that moment, on this very couch, when he’d been more than tempted to cross the line.

  “Aww, come on!” Tantalizing drifts of sugared citrus still flavored the air. He lifted the blanket she’d used, inhaled the sweet scent of her. Swearing under his breath, he bolted from the couch, took a painfully cold shower, dressed for work, and shot out the door of his now Sadie-tainted home.

  Archer loved the rain. Muffling the polluting sounds of mayhem in a chaotic world, everything seemed slower, simpler when the rain fell to the earth and washed away the mess.

  But not today.

  Today, the whispering hush provided an evoking soundtrack for unwelcome introspection. Cranking up the radio to relieve the contemplative lull, the weatherman broke through the steady drum of raindrops to remark on the current conditions.

  “Severe storm warnings throughout the day and on into the week. It doesn’t appear to be going anywhere soon so buckle in and prepare for some stormy weather.”

  A helpless smile unfurled from somewhere deep inside. “Stormy Weather.” The melody of Sadie’s voice swirling in his subconscious engulfed all the heaviness and lifted away the oppressive ache.